sofa. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your elbow as though
were going to give a bottle to a baby. Talk softly to it.
hand, stroke cat's throat until it opens its mouth (be patient). Drop
into mouth. Let go of cat, noticing the direction it runs.
pill up off the floor and go get the cat. Sit on floor in kitchen, wrap
arm around cat as before, drop pill in mouth. Let go of cat, noticing
direction it runs.
floor to pick up pill, and go find the cat. Bring it back into the
Hold cat as before, but hold down its front paws with forearm. Drop
from back legs out of your arm. Go get the cat, pick up half-dissolved
pill from floor and drop it into garbage can.
pill from bottle. Go into bathroom and get a fluffy towel. Stay in the
bathroom with the cat, and close the door.
bathroom floor, wrap towel around kitty, leaving only his head exposed.
Cradle kitty in the crook of your arm, and pick up pill off of counter.
cat from top of shower door (you didn't know that cats can jump 5 feet
straight up in the air, did you?), and wrap towel around it a little
making sure its paws can't come out this time. With fingers at either
of its jaw, pry it open and pop pill into mouth. Quickly close mouth
floor with cat in your lap, stroking it under the chin and talking
to it for at least a half hour, while the pill dissolves.
towel, open bathroom door. Wash off scratches in warm soapy water, comb
your hair, and go find something to occupy your time for 7-1/2 hours,