Chapter 9 - The Medical Field
In the field of medicine, his accomplishments are without peer. His invention of five vaccines for diseases that do not yet exist was well worthy of the Lasker and Nobel prizes they earned.
Before his invention of the thermometer, temperatures were unknown.
His pioneering surgeries on diseases of the eyes have led to several fortunes for those making white canes and training seeing eye dogs while his unique method of doing brain surgery has filled hundreds of otherwise empty beds in long term health care facilities.
On Wednesdays, after work, he performs heart transplant surgery free of charge. His discovery that blood does better when kept within the body led directly to his student Harvey's work on circulation.
He is currently working on cures for acne, the Heartbreak of Psoriasis, the Evil Gingivitis, halitosis, and of course Irregularity Due To Lack Of Bulk In The Diet. Iron Poor Tired Blood is a future project.
In the field of dentistry, his improvement to the old-fashioned dentist's drill are in use by the finest (and richest) dentists the world over.
With Board certification in psychiatry, proctology and urology, his medical office sign "Specialist in Odds & Ends" is most appropriate.
He is a full professor of pseudo-psycho-demonology at the University of Ooboodugwu and visiting Professor of Tomfoolery at Dar es Salam hospital where he specializes in diseases of the rich.
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