Chapter 15 - Further Achievements

Of course, his well-known modesty prevents him from listing all of his achievements. However, a few which were not mentioned earlier include the facts that:

Conductor As honorary Conductor of the Mongolian National Symphony, he created the classic rendition of Beethoven's Fifth converted to rap and performed by Pavaroti and Prince.

Jukebox He plays bluegrass cello, and was scouted by the Mets, the Red Sox and the Toronto Maple Leafs to provide inspirational music to the teams. He is the subject of numerous PBS documentaries. Indeed, his invention of the jukebox, which he created in order to share his many musical compositions, advanced the cause of music by several orders of magnitude.

When bored, he builds large suspension bridges in his yard out of toothpicks, wooden matches and duct tape. He enjoys urban hang gliding.

Last summer he toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration that outdrew the Rev. Dr. Billy Graham. He bats .600 in both baseball and softball and maintains a league bowling average of 277.

His deft floral arrangements of poison ivy and poison oak have earned him fame in international botany circles. Children and animals trust him.


He can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. He once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room set that evening. He knows the exact location of every food in the supermarket.

He balances, weaves, dodges, frolics, and all his bills are paid. On weekends, to let off steam, he participates in full-contact origami. Years ago he discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. He did, however, determine that, to the man with a hammer, everything looks like a nail.


For a personally autographed and inscribed GIF of this magnificent wonder known as Bob Miller, send only $14,562.50 (to cover postage and handling only) to P.O. Box 1287438-1/2, Tashkent, Turkmenistan.

Bob Miller

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