Chapter 1 - Who is Bob?
Bob is the direct lineal descendent of Eric the Red, Genghis Khan and Attila The Hun. Most people refer to him as Sweet Old Bob; good friends use just the initials. As you can see, his father was thrilled to have the little tyke around.
He is an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over his original line of corduroy evening-wear. He does not perspire.
He is a dynamic figure of a man, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice with his fingers. He has been known to remodel train stations and airports on his lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention and traffic manipulation. He is an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
He has been Caller Number 8, won weekend ski passes and has been visited by Ed McMahon. He is a private citizen, yet receives thousands of pieces of fan mail.
Michelangelo used him as the model for David.
And, while his modesty (if he weren't so modest, he would be perfect) keeps Bob from claiming any divine status, it is proven that proper prayer and worship of him and his prophet, Stanley, leads to cures, riches and happiness. You can pay homage to Stanley by clicking on the crown:
Further worship is simple in practice. Merely place a lighted candle in the hole of a 5-1/2" floppy disk, remove your clothes and dance around the symbolic fire while chanting the holy mantra "Redmond, Redmond, Redmond". And don't forget to send your free-will contributions.
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